Haven't posted anything on here in years so I thought I would post a wee Haiku that I wrote I couple of months back that I thought wasn't too bad. :') I suppose it could be interpreted in a few different ways, some a lot lighter than others.... Anyway, here's the haiku, please let me know what you think. :)
Falling asleep to
Dream of crossing hated streams.
It's over, at last.
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Canary word: Present
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Hello CapitalMonday here for a review. I would like to first to say that i have never reviewed a poem but there also a first (I always say). So to begin, there are some things that confuse me a tad and that would be dream of crossing hated streams. I just don't understand what this mean but at the same time, i think i understand it.
Overall, this haiku you have wrote seems to be about the bullies that are in this person life and how they are trying everything to get over the fact they may never find a way to leave the place they are in now. The person just sits there and dies on the inside, not telling anyone how they might feel since if they did, they would get made fun of.
All and all, i think this a great haiku with an amazing message and hopefully you will continue writing for the sake of everyone since you are an amazing poet.
Farewell,
CapitalMonday
I get it, but I don't, if that makes any sense. The person is running away from something or someone. They know who or what it is judging by the last line. They fear it even after the threat is no longer there. The person deluded themselves into believing it was all a dream? Not exactly sure about the last part, but if it is the case then it's more likely the threat is a group of people or someone really close to them if it had that much impact. Maybe a case of bullying that the person is finally free of? Still awesome haiku! =^_^=
Thanks!
never really thought about there being a relation to bullying. I suppose the main purpose of it was to make people think. I wanted to make it the sort of thing that means something different to each person. I actually wrote this haiku with two meanings inside, one where the person is running away from their problems and the other where they face them. It all depends on how you personally interpret. 
Bonnie Babe,
I really like the sound of this. It's like I get all the ways your trying to express this, but I can't quite grip them into complete sentences, I feel them though.
Maybe it's a nightmare, it could be a river rushing with lost souls or crossing paths with someone or something that has tortured you. Afterwards, it is just a pleasure to awaken. It could mean that you're falling asleep crying, but obviously not over joy. Over something so life changing, like without it, you're going into a foreign country, maybe to get there you have to find a path of bulging rocks jutting out of a stream that represents maybe a past or a memory.
It doesn't even have to be a flow of water, it could be a constant transmit of data, or energy. It could represent two loves that in the end will hate each other, it will be reliving to be over. Even though in the beginning it was like a dream come true.
It's not just falling asleep, it's fading into another reality, and when you get out, it's like looking into a mirror, and realizing you were beautiful all along. See, it doesn't exsist. It's metaphysical.
I love this.
Keep expressing.
-Percybeth
Thanks for your review! You make me sound a lot deeper than I actually am. :')
It is mostly up to how you interperate it.
I wrote the haiku with a specific issue in mind (and the two sulutions to the problem, running away or facing it head on) but it is deliberately vague.
I wanted it to be able to express suffering and turmoil without going in too deep on the issue at hand. Perhaps it is a dream the haiku speaks of, perhaps it addresses more physical tribulations.
On another note, from what you and the other reviewer have said, it seems this haiku is like a dream itself, parts of it makes sense but other parts are just out of reach.
Thanks again!